A Review of a Kick-Ass Compatibility Test
July 21, 2009 by Adam R-Z
Filed under Featured, Guys, Explained
When I first saw the International Relationship Institutes compatibility test, my first thought was “Why do I need this?”
You see I have been in a great relationship for the past two years and it seems to me we are very compatible. We enjoying sports (both playing and watching), both work in technology - even both love jalapenos! How much more compatible can you be? Why would I need some “test” to tell me if we’re good for each other?
Plus, I figured it was probably one of those lame Cosmo-style 100 point tests. You’ve seen the ones: Where if you match up on 95 of the 100 questions you are “star crossed lovers destined to love each other for eternity like Ashton and Demi!“ I didn’t want any part of some cheese-ball test of my relationship.
However after deciding to give the test a chance I am quite glad that I spent the time and small fee to check it out! While the test did an excellent job of reinforcing my belief that Ashley and I are very compatible (whew!), the real value in the test was that it clearly highlighted areas in which we were not aligned.
The test enabled us to talk through these areas and come to a clearer understanding of the other persons’ perspective. After taking the test, we felt confident that our compatibility was not just based on culinary similarities but on deeper, relevant topics that ranged from sex to religion, from vacation habits to leadership (seems like a crazy topic I know, but it makes sense once you take the test).
How We Took the Test
After deciding to bite the bullet and put the basis of our two years together in the hands of a PDF, we set aside an hour or two on a Saturday afternoon to review the questions in the test. The instructions recommend printing it out and filling out the questions individually, but we decided to simply review them together on my laptop.
We looked at each question in the document and gave our responses out loud to each other. When our answers differed, we would talk about why we felt a certain way about that topic. We also talked about how important it was that the person we were dating share a similar perspective to our own.
This method suited us well as it was easier to have a discussion and it eliminated too much over thinking. Sometimes when you write down your answers you can think too much and it can make answering the questions more difficult than it should be. By answering the questions in real-time we felt that a truer response could be given because we would be giving our first reaction not an over-analyzed answer.
I recognize that this may not work for all couples and that some may have the problem of wanting to seem more compatible and would change their answer accordingly. If you think this would happen in your case, go with the written method. Otherwise, simply reading it off a computer screen works just fine.
What We Discovered
As I mentioned, since we have been together for some time, we felt similarly about many of the questions. This was a nice confidence boost about our relationship. To discover that we saw eye-to-eye on important topics gave us both a sense of assurance that our relationship has a strong foundation.
However it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. In fact there were several areas in which we didn’t share the same viewpoints.
What was great about this compatibility test was that in those cases, we discussed why we each felt the way we did about the subject. These discussions were enlightening and exciting, almost like that experience early on in dating when you first start getting to know someone.
At the end of our discussion, I felt as though I understood my girlfriend on a deeper level about serious topics that would affect our long term happiness. It answered the question “Are you dating the right person?” with a resounding “oh yea!”
Why this Compatibility Test will be Great for You
As you can tell, I was very happy with my experience with INI’s compatibility test and I feel strongly that it’s something that every couple should also experience. As we have stated here at U Say, I Say, our goal is to help you have a happier, fuller relationship. Understanding whether or not you and the person you’re dating are on the same page on key elements is critical to that goal.
Don’t get me wrong: This test isn’t for everybody. Ladies: Please don’t go sending this test off to the guy you met at the club last night. Guys: Restrain yourselves and don’t bring 2 copies of the compatibility test with you for that happy hour with the girl you just met on Match.com.
But if you have been dating someone for at least 6 months and are thinking it could be going somewhere, I highly recommend picking up this test and discovering how compatible you really are. It could save you lots of wasted time down the road, and for $15 it’s very little risk.
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