Can i call you? please????? (joke)

What family reasons would that be?
How do you justify stating “In reality that is what all women want.” How do you judge what is “reality”?

Can you please give us some more to this?

What do you mean by a MAN? Strong and confident? That is a very vague description. No, it shouldn’t be a man’s last name. How do you know all women feel this way? Who are you to speak on behalf of all women? Women come in all different ways and wants, no two women are the same. You have no idea what all women want. That is not a sound argument at all.

I am not a gender skeptic (believing all gender is a social construct.) Neither do I believe that the “gender” norms we have now and have had in the past are completely natural. There is a great book about this called Earth Muse. If you care to turn your opinion into an educated point of view. Speaking on behalf of all women? Writing a response that doesn’t make much sense unless we assume to understand what you mean by filling in many blanks. Don’t do that.

The fact is, yes it is about ownership. It is based on the patriarchal idea that a woman belongs to her father and then her husband and we are thankfully breaking through that outdated belief. A woman belongs to herself. It is not practiced all over the world, either. In Greece, a culture from which our civilization grew, a woman retains her surname. It isn’t confusing to them. And to me, it was always confusing trying to figure out how this relative was related to who and why. You are simply taking your perspective as “reality.” When in fact, it is just your point of reference that makes you think it is confusing.

Anyway confusion can be cleared up simply by telling someone you retained your maiden-name. Isn’t that a funny expression. Am I writing that wrong?

In our culture women most certainly are put in circumstances where they lose their identity and men don’t realize it. Who ever said they are used to their name and will not change it, said it right. You are a man and have never thought of taking another person’s last name but it certainly doesn’t necessarily feel natural, warm and fuzzy. The children will not be confused. I don’t agree.

We grew up and still exist in a sexist society, inundated with images of “woman as sexual object.” There are many ways we absorb knowledge, they are even finding out that babies see and store information to understand later. My point is that this most definitely has some cause and effect relationship to boys and men letting themselves indulge in a porn habit.

I have heard from male friends that when they go through puberty sex is on their mind 24/7 and that they really will do anything to get it, they chalk it up to hormones. However, I believe the effect our over sexualized culture has on young men is underestimated and if a boy believes it is hormonal, he will more easily allow himself to watch that crap which is often very, very objectifying to women; harmful to his budding sexuality in that it shapes his desires based on an over the top caricature of ready made male fantasies that really have nothing to do with the sexual desires of the women who will one day be his sexual partners. Not to say that women aren’t vulnerable as well to being impressed with pornographic desires.

I know a young man who realized this himself at a young age and was successful in waiting out his “burnings” until they went away. I don’t think this extreme is necessary and fantasy models are good for this time in a boys life, just not the pornographic kind but this particular man can remain celibate and faithful in a relationship if sex isn’t healthy for the girl in his life for a certain time.

Anyway, BOYS don’t even let yourself watch porn unless it is porn for women, made by women for women. There is over lap. Read erotic stories written by women. Sex without the pornographic blinders is much more sexy and amazing.

I don’t like porn for these reasons. When I find out a man has a porn habit, nothing can gross me out more. It is really a turn off.

One more note, women sometimes learn to touch into their sexuality with the help of a man, well in the same regard a men can learn from women that our hating porn is not because we are behind the times as the author seems to suggest or not quite at your step yet, but that PORN is not realistic, we don’t like it so why would you want it to play any part in your future encounters with us? Learn restraint from us. Think of your own fantasies, use your imagination, write it down and let your mind and body flow freely.

The problem is that sometimes you do these little games like I will give you the massage first. “Let me kiss you first.” And some men still don’t get the point. What do you do then? I have found that even the best men will take advantage of women in this way. Why the coded messages? Also, porn is the last place I would go to educate men about how to pleasure me. Are you serious? Porn is not real sex it is acting out male fantasies. Sex Books in the Book store are much more unbiased.

I appreciate this article only because I do believe women give much of their power away when we trust to soon and don’t feel the right to a personal life. Would you really tell a young woman who has to take medication to feel stable to get the “f)ck” out of your car. Even writing that exposes you to clearly be someone who only deserves to date other rude men. The attitude of this article is very offensive.

As you can probably guess Misty, I agree with Ben. I totally support a woman’s ability to be equal from a career, rights, and other basic standpoints.

But that does not mean that there shouldn’t be gender roles in a male/female relationship. Whats surprising is that I think most women would agree with us as well – women want men to be MEN. They want us to be strong & confident. That’s what they find attractive.

So if we:
1. Agree on that there needs to be a shared last name for family reasons, and
2. Women want confident strong men – like those that are strong members of a family,

then it needs to be the mans last name because that is what in reality what most woman would find attractive and fulfilling.