Warning: Girls, If You’re Sharing this Information You Could be Jeopardizing Your Dating Success
June 2, 2009 by David M.
Filed under Guys, Explained
How much information is too much information? Are there things you should just keep to yourself? Isn’t a relationship about sharing everything with each other? Not everything-everything, girls. There are things your us guys just doesn’t want to hear.
Bodily Functions
“Periods. Uterus problems. Cervix issues. Basically, just remove her guts, would you?”
– Jim, 39
We don’t want to hear about your period. Yes, it’s really gross when you’re having a heavy flow day, but we don’t want to know the details. We also don’t want to hear about your digestive problems. Yes, “Everybody Poops”, just don’t make us picture it by bringing it up in conversation (or forgetting to light a match). Us guys want to imagine that you are wonderful and beautiful and clean and always smell like flowers. If you can keep this delightful delusion going in your guys’ mind, he’ll love you for it. Talk about Aunt Flo and your issues with Mexican food to one of your girlfriends.
Sexual History
“I don’t want an explicit reference to number of sexual partners she’s had. It’s normally unreliable (downplayed) anyway.”
– Tom, 24
This goes in the “need to know basis” file. If a guy asks you flat-out how many men you’ve been with, say 2 with a sly smile on your face. If he presses the issue then he really wants to know, so just tell him.
But if he doesn’t ask, don’t volunteer. Why? In that case he doesn’t really care. What he cares about is that you’re with him now. (Of course, he also cares that you haven’t slept with every guy on the block and have creepy crawlies all over your coochie.) So whether the number is 5 or 50, keep it to yourself unless he asks you multiple times.
That Thing Your Ex Did
“I wouldn’t want to know about “that thing” that her ex did that was “so awesome.” It’s like, really? You really needed to share?”
– Bill, 29
I’m proud of the ladies who are standing up for what they want in the bedroom! However, you don’t have to do it in a totally tactless way like saying outright that your ex did something better. That’s just rude. You can get what you want without crushing your man’s ego while he’s naked. Guide him in other ways. “I’d really like to try this position.” Then give him the type of feedback that makes him feel like a manly man. That’s the way to guarantee a repeat performance!
Btw ladies this goes for the size of your man’s junk. Want a healthy relationship? Keep this in mind (and repeat it as necessary): Your current bf has the biggest package of anyone you’ve ever seen. This alone will do wonders for his confidence. Bonus points if you brag about it in front of his friends!
Your Meds
“Things were going great until she mentioned that she’s on a pharmacy of medication that keeps her from going crazy again.”
– Aaron, 30
This seriously happened to me: There I was, picking up a girl for date number 3 and she proceeds to tell me about her anti-depressant medication.
SCREEEECH. U-turn. Back at her place. Get the f*&k out.
It’s not that we guys are insensitive, its just that if you are on medication, it’s best not to mention it early in the relationship. There’s still a pretty big stigma against mental illness, so if your pills are what’s keeping you sane, just keep quietly taking your pills. It’s something your guy doesn’t need to know for a long while.
Your Litany of Complaints
“If she hates her job, hates her ex, hates her family, hates life. She shouldn’t misrepresent, but shit, deal with it in style. I want to know that when you’re down your chin is up.”
– Derrick, 23
It’s tempting when you’re in love with someone to use them as the sounding board for everything going on in your life. But when most of your discussions with guy are negative, it starts to wear down your relationship. Try not to complain too much, and when you can, gripe to your friends.
Just Right
A good relationship has great communication, but it doesn’t mean you have to disclose everything. A little mystery goes a long way. Think like Goldilocks – not too much, not too little. Just right (mmmmm pooridge….)
Everyone has a subject or subjects that they don’t like to discuss with the person their dating. What qualifies as TMI for you? Share your thoughts!
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I can’t understand why this article is only about what WOMEN shouldn’t do. Why not spare us the covert assumption that a woman having a chance with a man is a rare possibility that we better not screw up. The point is that men have been ignoring women’s emotional lives for a very long time. Abuse of women by family, strangers, the media, in the workplace, in relationships is at a staggering high and often a woman having her chin up when she is sad so as not to ruin your good time is not an appropriate attitude to have.
I
I believe my boyfriend is the closest I will ever come to a “good” man. If he sees that I am sad from what has happened in my past, he insists that I stay with him and has been paramount in my healing because he supports me in my grief and our connection is just more powerful because of it.
I appreciate this article only because I do believe women give much of their power away when we trust to soon and don’t feel the right to a personal life. Would you really tell a young woman who has to take medication to feel stable to get the “f)ck” out of your car. Even writing that exposes you to clearly be someone who only deserves to date other rude men. The attitude of this article is very offensive.