How to Deal with the Fact that the Girl You’re Dating has a Moustache
July 31, 2009 by Rachel W.
Filed under Girls, Explained
So you’re dating a girl. Good for you tiger! But there’s a little issue, isn’t there. Let me guess, her parents are Italian… maybe Greek? That combination of dark hair and a light complexion is what does it. Often it’s invisible, but every once in a while her head turns juuust so; her face catches the light… and BAM! You’re dating Tom Selleck.
This may be a shocking revelation to you, but it’s actually not uncommon for us women to have a visible ‘tache. As with other types of body hair though, we perpetrate the myth that we are a smooth and hairless gender through the four disciplines of waxing, plucking, shaving and bleaching, so it’s not something that you see very often – at least on people still young enough to look in a mirror once in a while.
If you’ve realized that under some light your girlfriend has something in common with Frida Kahlo, don’t feel bad. Of course it’s a shock, but this could happen to anyone. It’s nothing but a little bump on the road to true love. There are essentially two ways to handle this. Let me break it down for you. Read on.
#1: Put up AND shut up
The first strategy you could think about trying is: Live with it. I mean, everyone has their faults. What are you, an oil painting? A Ken doll? (Not that Ken really has anything to brag about, I mean good hair and cheekbones, yes, but that smooth, featureless mound where his baby-making parts are meant to be is kind of a dealbreaker.)
After all, is it really even that noticeable? We can’t be talking about a Fu Manchu, a handlebar or a walrus here; after all, you weren’t so turned off by it that you thought this girl was un-dateable. You’ve crossed that bridge, and there ain’t no turning back now! Anyway, if you just try to put it out of your mind you’ll probably have forgotten all about it in no time! (…maybe.)
#2: Communicate
Alright, if living with it is not an option for you, then it’s time to communicate. Why don’t you wait until a comfortable moment; sometime when you’re both feeling relaxed. Maybe a Sunday morning after you’ve just made love. The sun’s coming in the window, the birds are singing in the tree outside, and you say, “baby, there’s a little thing I want to talk to you about. It’s your disgusting, hairy top lip.” BZZZT! WRONG! Do NOT do this! This is NOT a situation that calls for honesty!
Seriously, honesty is likely to cause a rift between you that won’t ever be bridged. Trust me – this may well be a touchy subject for her. But even if it isn’t, bringing it up like this will make it pretty obvious that there’s something about her appearance that you find repulsive, and this isn’t a good start to a blossoming relationship.
Here’s a much better idea: talk to one of her friends about it. You can play this card: “oh no, it doesn’t bother me, but I think maybe she’s self-conscious about it. Has she ever mentioned it to you?” Then hopefully the friend will mention the conversation to your girl, and before you know it, she’s plucking!
Or here’s another idea (and a really sneaky one): one day out of the blue say to her “baby, I think you have something on your lip,” and make a little wiping gesture like she has food on her face. Then turn away and pretend like nothing happened. You might just find that next time you see her, her hairy little friend has been waxed into oblivion!
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