If You Don’t Stop Telling Your Girlfriend These 5 Things, You’ll Hate Yourself Later
August 6, 2009 by Rachel W.
Filed under Girls, Explained
Have you heard this one? “Honesty is the best policy.” Ah, no, it’s not. At least not always, and certainly not when it comes to people that you really care about. One of the justifiable reasons for not telling the whole truth, is to protect someone’s feelings, and this should apply to your girlfriend most of all! So don’t leap to the conclusion that just because you’re in a relationship the rule about not oversharing doesn’t apply.
Ok, without further ado, here are the top five things not to tell your significant other:
#1: Anything, anything at all, about your previous girlfriends
In general, guys get bent out of shape thinking about the people that their girl has slept with. For women it’s a little different – for them, it’s thinking about your previous serious relationships that might be painful. So don’t mention your previous girlfriends. At all. Seriously, nothing good can come of it.
Even saying something negative about an ex is a bad idea. First of all it just makes you look stupid, and second of all, whether it’s negative or not it’ll still conjure up a mental image of you with someone else, which is what you don’t want.
#2: All about that time you kissed a guy
It doesn’t matter that you were drunk, that it was a dare, that a lot of crazy stuff happened that night, that your frat brothers thought it was funny, or anything else. Whatever you say, all your girlfriend will hear is “I might be gay”, and from that point on she’ll be analyzing everything you do and say, no matter how trivial, that might add weight to the theory that you’re secretly longing to go out and get yourself a hot piece of man-flesh.
#3: That you’ve ever been with anyone who was better in the sack
Ok, you’re probably unlikely to ever blurt this one out, but you should also be careful that you don’t imply it either. Once you’ve put that mental image in her head, it’s going to stay there. Do yourself a favor, and steer well clear of this one.
#4: That you think her friends are idiots
It would be nice if we always got along with the other people in our significant others life. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way – just because they’re friends with yourgirlfriend doesn’t mean you want to hang out with them. But whatever the situation is, part of the deal of being with someone is to accept who they choose to hang out with, and to keep your opinions about them to yourself. This is not negotiable unless you have really good cause (for example, your girlfriend has a ‘friend’ who continually tries to bring her down).
#5: Where you hid the bodies
Heh – just kidding. Hopefully you’re not a serial killer. (If you are, errr…you should turn yourself in. Ok? Good.) But what this is about is telling (or rather, not telling) your gf about the things you’ve done that you’re maybe not proud of. The time you cheated on your ex would be in this category, as would the time you ripped off the company you used to work for, and the time in Vegas when you and your buddy got with the three lesbian dwarf strippers. Some things that are in the past are meant to stay in the past, so keep it that way and take this opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Related posts:
Rachel, I find it interesting that you have decided to write about lying once again. Makes me wonder about you a bit.
While I defended your position on your last post, I have to say I disagree with you for the most part on this one.
I think some of your guidelines have good intentions, but I disagree that a guy should lie, especially when asked about such situations directly. I do agree that guys shouldn’t go out of their way to bring up ex-girlfriends, lesbian dwarf strippers, and kissing dudes, but you also shouldn’t lie if your girl inquires. It is important to be honest at an appropriate time in your relationship (not too early, not too late) about past criminal behavior. And if you think her friends are idiots, that probably says something about your lady well. You should probably consider re-evaluating the relationship altogether at that point…but don’t bring it up after the first time you meet them.
Don’t misinterpret my postings, I’m a very honest person!
I agree that when questioned, one should answer honestly. But this post was about blurting things out unquestioned. Guys have knack for having stupid, unnecessary things come out of their mouth (especially when drunk). You telling me you’ve never been with a guy that’s shared too much info?! They all seem to do it! I’m just trying to save some relationships here.
The one thing I probably should have added to this post: That most of these rules apply early on when you’re BF/GF. If you’re heading down the aisle, you should probably mention to your soon to be betrothed that you were once a felon. It’s just common courtesy. Though not literally while walking down the aisle. That would be awkward.
Finally I do agree about the friends bit. If you hate all her friends, think long and hard about your relationship – there’s a reason she’s friends with those people!
I gotta disagree with #1. This actually came up with my current boyfriend. He started telling some story about how his ex did something that sucked, and then in the middle stops and says “Crap, I shouldn’t be telling you all this, should I?” To which I replied “As long as you’re not like ‘God, I miss her’, speak away!” I actually enjoy hearing about how his previous attempts-to-be-his-girlfriend have failed miserably, makes me feel pretty good about myself for not being as crazy/bitchy as the last ones. And, of course, that I won
So what you’re saying is that you don’t mind hearing the negative things about your BF ex-hobags, you just don’t want to hear the good things?
I can see that. I mean from a guys perspective, I would not mind hearing how much better I am than the last BF. BUT it has to be in SERIOUS moderation. Like once or twice. If my GF were to talk about ex’s more than that, even in a negative light it would make me wonder:
#1 Why does she think about her ex’s so much?? I mean I’m good, but I’m not THAT good.
#2 What’s she sayin about me to other people… hmmm….