Girls: Why Paying on the 2nd Date Leads to Better Dating
May 26, 2009 by David M.
Filed under Guys, Explained
You’ve had a great first date with this guy you met on Match.com / eHarmony / through your best friend / at work / on a subway / in a Subway (getting a five dollar footlong!) / wherever. Either way, you’ve set up a second date because you really dig this guy and you want to see if it has the potential to go anywhere.
Since you were both complaining about the lack of quality fish at the first restaurant, you decide to take a trek to the coast to experience real seafood.
Should you whip out your Visa and pay for date two or let him do the honors? Let’s take a look at both sides of the situation.
If you do pay…
- If you pay, then he’ll see it as a sign that you like him.
- If you pay, he’ll assume you are financially stable enough to afford dinner for two.
- If you pay, you’ll be even since he paid for the first date.
- If you pay and things don’t go well, you’re even and can walk away without guilt.
If you don’t pay…
- If you don’t pay, he may think you’re using him for food.
(Ladies, all us guys know you have been on those “I have no money and I’m hungry” dates.)
- If you don’t pay, he may think you aren’t financially stable.
(Ladies we do appreciate financial stability – its sexy)
- If you don’t pay, you’re setting yourself up to “owe” him.
(After all, isn’t dating kinda like prostitution? Trading food for sex?)
- If you don’t pay, you’ll feel more guilty about walking away
The Dutch Relationship
My buddy Scott was in a “dutch relationship” for a while with this one girl. He made more money than her, but she had a roommate, so their available fun money was about even. They had an agreement that they’d trade off who paid for meals or activities out. Of course, every time the check arrived, they ended up having this conversation:
Scott: “Who’s turn is it?”
Dutch Girl: “Um, I forget.”
Scott: “I think it’s your turn. I paid for Fridays.”
Dutch Girl: “Yeah, but didn’t we go to Keiko’s after Fridays?”
Scott: “I thought that was BEFORE Fridays.”
Dutch Girl: “No, remember we went to Keiko’s after John’s party. That was on Tuesday.”
Scott: “Oh, right. I guess it is my turn then.”
Other than having that conversation every time they went out to do anything that involved money, it actually worked out pretty well for them. It kept things even financially and when they broke up, Dutch Girl actually took him out for dinner afterwards (and I scored some quality left overs).
So what do you do?
If you’re into the guy AND he paid for the first date, go ahead and pony up for that second date. The pro’s out weigh the con’s and when Kanye West’s Golddigger comes on the radio you can feel confident he’s not singing about you.
So what do you think?
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