But hold up a second there cowboy. If you really want the inside story on this whole dating thing, you should be aware that the whole going-out-to-dinner thing is WAY overrated. Going out for some nice food and conversation is a fun thing to do with someone who’s already your girlfriend – i.e. when you’re already comfortable with each other. With a stranger, especially a hot one, it can be an excruciating experience. So in a way, ‘what not to do’ on a first date is to make it a ‘date’ at all!

• “Hey, I thought I’d do a little rollerblading tomorrow and then grab a burger – I know a great place. Care to tag along?” – YES
• “I’m going to check out a band tonight with a few friends. It’s going to be cool. You want in?” – YES
• “I would like to ask you out on a date that will involve two hours of trying to make conversation.” - NO

Either of the first two options above is great, because they throw off an image of you as a fun person who does fun stuff, which is very attractive. They also both involve an activity, so they avoid the whole having-to-keep-the-conversation-going thing that you get with a dinner date. And finally, saying “care to tag along?” or something similarly casual takes the pressure of the whole thing, so she’s more likely to agree to it in the first place.

If, however, you have committed to the traditional dinner date, despite all the best advice to the contrary: well, don’t say you weren’t warned!

Here are some things you need to avoid

#1: Allowing the conversation to flag

It’s pretty rare for two strangers to be able to converse for a solid hour over dinner without there being some awkward silences, which are death to ‘chemistry’. Perversely, it can be even harder to keep a conversation flowing when you really like someone. So what do you do about this?

Prepare! Read a newspaper; get acquainted with some current hot topics of conversation. Also, think about a couple of the coolest things you’ve done in your life, and work out how you could tell a great, funny story about them (a little embellishment is ok – never let the truth get in the way of a good story!).

#2: Challenging her beliefs

Now is not the time for a conversation about religion, politics, or which was the best movie out of the original Star Wars trilogy (actually you might get away with that one – everyone knows it’s The Empire Strikes Back). Keep it light, keep it funny, and keep it moving. There’ll be plenty of time for convincing her that Scientology is a cult when you’re going steady.

#3: Being too nice

You need to tease her a little. If you didn’t already know, this is basically what flirting is – gentle ribbing, done with a smile. It works because what it communicates is “I’m not so in awe of you that I can’t poke fun at you.” It also spices up the conversation and makes it a lot more interesting than just talking about your hobbies, your cat, and your family for hours.

Keep these tips in mind and you will have a much better chance of having a successful first date!

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Disclaimer: If you do something you know will piss off your partner, don’t write us hate mail. You’re the idiot that followed advice based on a random number generator.

Here we go…

1. Roleplay
Dress up like a bad cop or a sexy schoolgirl. (Bonus points if you’re a guy dressed like a sexy schoolgirl.)

2. Opposite Day
If you’re normally the dominant one in bed, be the one that gets tied up.

3. Go somewhere expensive
Splurge on a crazy fancy dinner where you can sip Perrier and feel like you’re awesome.

4. Go somewhere silly
Borrow a neighbor’s kid and go to Chuck E. Cheese, or go to the go-kart place and drive like maniacs.

5. Watch a really bad movie
Find the worst B movie you can find and force yourselves to watch it. Make commentary (a la Mystery Science Theater 3000).

6. Go down memory lane
Open up your old photo albums and laugh your ass off at your 80s self.

7. Visit a couple that hates each other
You’ll realize how good you really have it.

8. Challenge your partner to a Wii Bowling throwdown
Then massage each other’s sore arms afterwards.

9. Couple’s Massage
Nothing says relaxation and bonding like being naked together and rubbed down by a total stranger.

10. Go to the sex toy store
These places are full of hilarious and exciting things to see (and will give you ideas for things to do when you’re back home).

11. Visit a couple that’s all over each other
Oddly enough, you may find it sick and sappy while you’re there, but it’ll remind you how much you wanna jump your partner.

12. Have a threesome
Hey, I said there’s be some dangerous ones on the list. Why not conquer boredom with a new bed partner?

13. Make out upside down like Spider-Man
It’s every girl’s dream to be with a superhero.

14. Throw a porn party
You’ll get to see some things about your friends that you probably never wanted to know. (By the way, throw the DVD into reverse after the money shot. It’s hilarious.)

15. Dress each other up for a night out
You’ll get an idea of what your partner likes to see you wearing. Wear more of that and you’ll both be happier.

16. Make each other gift bags with dollar store gifts
You each get $10 to buy your partner things from the dollar store that remind you of them. Meet up later to discuss and crack up laughing.

17. Take a Class Together
Learning something with you’re girl gives you more to talk about than that bitch she hates at work.

18. Go on a vacation
Nothing helps you rediscover your partner like being far, far away from all the shit of your everyday lives.

19. Slave day
Be your partner’s slave for a day. Anything (within reason!) that they want, you must provide. Then trade off so they are your slave.

20. Go bar-hopping
If you’re married, take off your rings. Your goal is to see who can get the most amount of phone numbers by the end of the night.

Again, we’re not responsible if you’re an idiot. Bring back the spark into your relationship and most of all – have fun!

What do you and your significant other do to spice things up? What suggestions do you have for couples to keep from getting bored?