Little Known Reasons Why He Won’t Marry You

Ahh, the big ‘M’. No book, article, magazine, website, radio play, musical, speech or casual conversation about dating and relationships would be complete without a consideration of Holy Matrimony, would it.

Well then.

The answer to this time-honored question is really a bit of a two-parter. As far as the dating part goes, it breaks down like this: we’ll date you for a long time for all the expected reasons – because we’re attracted to you, because we love you, because we like your company, because you laugh at our jokes, because you’re pretty, because we like your ass and because your hair smells good. Even because, well, we really can’t imagine life without you (whether or not we admit the fact). Sound good so far? Nothing unexpected there hopefully.

On to part two.

I know what you’re thinking: if the dating is so good, what’s with the lack of intention to get married? And the answer is just that…well…marriage is so final.

Yes we love you, yes we want to stay together, but to voluntarily pledge eternal commitment to one woman is, for a man, to do something that flies in the face of our deep impulses to spread our seed far and wide - impulses that have been shaped by millions of years of evolution. That doesn’t mean that we don’t want to or can’t stay faithful to just one woman, it just means…that we don’t want to have to promise to out loud.

Don’t forget that ultimately, marriage is no more than a social ritual. No doubt it’s an important one, and one that exists in many different cultures, but it’s no more than that. It’s not going to make a bad relationship into a good one, and once the last thank-you card has been written nothing will have changed.

If you’re wondering why men aren’t as keen on marriage now as they were a couple of generations ago, remember that getting married used to mean that you could start having sex.

This meant that people tended to marry very young (and still do in many midwest states)! The fact that most of us are now happy to ‘put out’ before entering into the bounds of holy matrimony is, not to put too fine a point on it, something of a game-changer.

To complete the picture, one must also point out that the statistics irrefutably show that marriage is in decline. People marry comparatively late in life now, and around 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Do we really want to start something that appears to be doomed to failure from the get-go? Could marriage have had its day? Do we even need it anymore?

Finally, if you’re reading this, maybe you’re a woman who’s been in a relationship with a man for some time, and maybe you’re asking yourself, why hasn’t he asked me to marry him? Why isn’t he giving me what I want?

Well, you could ask yourself, are you giving him what he wants? Like, say…a threesome with you and your bestie?   No, thought not.

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