FINALLY EXPLAINED: Why Girls Don’t Like Porn

Boys, boys, boys.  You have had a long relationship with porn.

It started when you acquired copies of Playboy or Penthouse from your father, or your friend’s father.  You snuck them into your treehouse and you drooled all over the pages.

Then came the internet.  Oh, the glorious, glorious internet.  There were naked women everywhere, doing everything you could ever imagine them doing (and some things you wish you could forget having seen them do).

But the bottom line is this: you’ve been at the porn game for a while.

We ladies on the other hand, haven’t really felt the need to delve into porn.  For one, we were raised to think that someday our prince would come.  He’d sweep us off our feet, there’d be this romantic kiss, and then we’d cut to a scene with all of our little royal children scurrying around our mansion happily.  We grow up fantasizing about the storybook romance.  You grow up fantasizing about getting your hands on giant breasts.

So it makes perfect sense that while you grew up with porn, starting with just sneaking glances at softcore mags and slowly ramping up to utter debauchery on the internet, we ladies are still in the baby stages of erotic entertainment.

In other words, we’re not ready for what you consider to be “good porn.”  We pretty much think that your “good porn” is utter filth.

There is no good reason for that girl to be naked while wearing 7 inch glittery stripper heels.  There’s no good reason for her to be blindfolded and leaning over a couch.  And there’s certainly no good reason for her to be crying out in rapturous joy while being taken by a man she’s never met before.  It just doesn’t make sense.

Secondly, there’s absolutely no connection between the people on the screen. (Beyond the obvious bumping of uglies, of course.)

They don’t know each other, they barely talk to one another, and when things are done, there’s no happily ever after.  (No sir, a facial is NOT a happily ever after.)

Want your girl to watch porn with you?

Then you have to put yourself in the wayback machine and dial your tastes back to the stuff you enjoyed in middle school.  You know, before you knew the really raunchy stuff existed. If she’s still balking at the idea of porn videos, why not start with reading some erotica to each other?  There are plenty of websites where you can find erotica and if you look for the ones labeled “Romantic” you’ll get the type of stories that have the plot and connection that she craves along with the naughty bits to rev your engines.

If you want your woman to enjoy the same kind of porn you enjoy, you’ll have to hold her hand and take her on the journey that you made all those years ago.  Develop her tastes in the way yours were developed – except this time, you’ll know which websites you should avoid at all costs.  Happy surfing!

Don’t miss any of our intriguing insights, distinct date ideas, diverse debates, or poignant podcasts! Sign up for our email newsletter today!

The Secret of Why Guys Like to Watch Porn

Have you ever looked through the 25c bin in an antiques store, and come across some of those sepia-tint dirty postcards from the 1920s?

If you have, maybe it was of a naked lady with a tasteful hairdo, posing tastefully in a nice outdoor setting. Believe it or not, in the 1920s, that was hardcore pornography.

But by today’s standards, that kind of thing is no longer exactly what you would call lurid, is it- not exactly on any kind of a level with, say, MILF Hunter, the Pam & Tommy video, or The Bang Bus.

No, whichever way you look at it, pornography has really changed a lot over the years.

Even as recently as the 1980s, pornography meant your older brother’s secret stash of well-loved Playboy magazines. You’d sneak into his room when he was out, pick your favorite out of the pile and nervously thumb through the pages. Usually the women were too hairy for you to get a good idea of what you were looking at, but by god it was still a turn-on!

Things today are a little different.

Even porn DVDs are passé now that the internet allows us the ability to see any kind of porn we want, wherever and whenever we want, and very often for free. Fetishes…interracial…gangbangs and beyond, it’s all there. (Trust me, I’ve checked…hey, I had to do my research!) And age, money, sexual preference, time of day – none of these are any barrier to accessing the pornographic world.

And make no mistake; men all around the world are consuming that porn avidly. Maybe not every single one, but you can bet that 95% of those with an internet connection at home and a free hand to touch themselves with are at least semi-regular consumers. Yes, including your little brother. Yes, including your dad. Yes, including your boyfriend.

So the big question: why do we watch it?

The answer is that men watch porn because it’s a turn-on (bet you weren’t expecting THAT!), and frankly, getting horny feels good (again, a shocking revelation). You see, the thing is that seeing or hearing or imagining other people have sex is meant to be a turn-on; it’s nature’s way of ensuring that if other people are getting some in our vicinity we’re not left out of the action! It’s just that the ’seeing or hearing or imagining’ part is so much easier now than it was when we all we had were those dirty postcards, and of course the ‘in our vicinity’ part left the building as soon as we starting painting on cave walls.

Also, pornography scratches that itch inside all men that drives us to try and bed a variety of women, rather than staying faithful to just one. Until they update the definition of cheating to include what goes on in our heads, looking at porn is a kind of guilt-free release valve for our more basic lusts. So as distasteful as it might be to you, keep in mind that the alternative might be a lot worse.

It would be nice if it ended there, but unfortunately it doesn’t. It’s hard to watch a lot of something without it having an influence on the way you think, and it’s true that over time porn does do this. It’s hard to watch orgy after orgy, for example, without feeling like you should be taking part in more orgies, and that’s a feeling that’s likely to cause problems. Basically, while porn in small doses is harmless, a porn addiction is not healthy.

The moral of the story is a simple one, and it’s this: like most pleasures in life, porn is best enjoyed in moderation…with a lady friend…or two

Don’t miss any of our intriguing insights, distinct date ideas, diverse debates, or poignant podcasts! Sign up for our email newsletter today!