The Secret to Merging Households: What To Keep? What To Toss?
July 5, 2009 by Rachel W.
Filed under Girls, Explained
You’ve taken the big step and agreed to live with your girl – congrats tiger! I’m a big fan of trying it before you buy it, so cohabitation will give you the chance to see if you can tolerate this person for the long haul. (But hey, it also gives them the chance to see if they can tolerate YOU – so behave yourself!) Of course, you probably have doubles of some things. What are things you should keep and what should you toss?
Kitchen Items
You can never have too many utensils, plates, cups, pots and pans! However, if you end up with two microwaves or toaster ovens, you may have a problem on your hands. (Unless you’re that type of “chef” – because seriously, how cool would it be to make twice the amount of pizza rolls at the same time?)
You can do a few things with your extra small appliances. The first would be to bring one to your office and use it when you’re at work. There’s always the possibility of lending it to a friend (with the stipulation that you may need it back if things go sour with your love!). Finally, you could sell it in the classifieds, donate it to charity, or give it away via Freecycle.
Bathroom Items
Assuming you’re a heterosexual couple, your bathroom items are probably going to be exclusive to you anyway. You may end up with an extra shower curtain or bath rug or cheesy furry toilet seat cover, but seriously, these things aren’t terribly important.
Living Room Items
What if you have two living room sets and now only one living room? Investing in a storage unit may not be a bad idea. Don’t frame this as: “Honey, I’m getting a storage unit because if this relationship goes down the tubes, I want my damn leather couches back.”
Make it out to be a positive for your lady. “If we get married and end up in a bigger place, we’ll have the furniture to fill it with already!” Everybody’s happy, and you don’t have to worry about having to go to Ikea to stock up your post-relationship living room.
Bedroom Items
This is another one that will go the same way as the living room furniture. Figure out who has the better bed (bigger, comfier, better headboard for tying silken ropes, whatever qualities you deem “better”) and then toss the other bedroom stuff in storage.
If you’re strapped for cash, you can always sell your old stuff, but it may be better to hold on to it in case the relationship explodes and you find yourself homeless and bedless.
Large Appliances
If you’re actually moving HOUSE, many of your larger appliances can stay and be part of the selling price of the house. If you’re a renter with your own washer and dryer set, then it’s up to you to decide if moving the heavy white behemoths is actually worth the hassle.
Many times you can sell them, but you probably won’t get anything near what you paid. It might be best for these to give them to friends or toss them in a storage unit.
Pets
Didn’t think of this one, did you? Hopefully you’ve got a plan on merging the furry members of your household, because no pet wants to be “tossed” because of a relationship. It’s just rude after all the unconditional love they’ve given you.
But if you find yourselves with incompatible animals, the first places to check for new homes would be your friends and your vet. If these don’t pan out, an animal rescue is best. Don’t drop your pet off at the pound – in most states, that’s as good as a death sentence for an adult animal. (Even a well-behaved one!) Remember, your pets love you no matter what. This relationship could die off after a year, and won’t you feel guilty if you got rid of man’s best friend for man’s cheating whore?
Be Sure You’re Compatible
You’re probably thinking – duh, of course we’re compatible, that’s why we’re moving in together! But think about it: Have you had the difficult talks about religion, money management, children, leadership etc? Most couples (even those moving in together) have not had these conversations.
I’d recommend you don’t move in until you try out Adam & Sital’s Compatibility Test. This isn’t some cheesy Cosmo-style, “You scored an 87 – you guys are as compatible as Ashton & Demi!!”. It’s 100+ easy to answer questions that help create a discussion between you and your lucky new roommate to get to the heart of important relationship issues.
If you take the test and find you’re compatible, you’ll feel that much better! If you take it and discover that you differ greatly on major parts, hopefully it’s not to late to cancel the movers.
Either way, good luck with merging your households. Hopefully your relationship can stand the test of cohabitation!
What do you think are some secrets to moving in together? How did you/will you decide what to keep and what to toss?
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