What Not to Do on a First Date

So there’s a girl you like, and you’re thinking about asking her out on a date. Fair enough, that’s the traditional way of doing things!

But hold up a second there cowboy. If you really want the inside story on this whole dating thing, you should be aware that the whole going-out-to-dinner thing is WAY overrated. Going out for some nice food and conversation is a fun thing to do with someone who’s already your girlfriend – i.e. when you’re already comfortable with each other. With a stranger, especially a hot one, it can be an excruciating experience. So in a way, ‘what not to do’ on a first date is to make it a ‘date’ at all!

• “Hey, I thought I’d do a little rollerblading tomorrow and then grab a burger – I know a great place. Care to tag along?” – YES
• “I’m going to check out a band tonight with a few friends. It’s going to be cool. You want in?” – YES
• “I would like to ask you out on a date that will involve two hours of trying to make conversation.” - NO

Either of the first two options above is great, because they throw off an image of you as a fun person who does fun stuff, which is very attractive. They also both involve an activity, so they avoid the whole having-to-keep-the-conversation-going thing that you get with a dinner date. And finally, saying “care to tag along?” or something similarly casual takes the pressure of the whole thing, so she’s more likely to agree to it in the first place.

If, however, you have committed to the traditional dinner date, despite all the best advice to the contrary: well, don’t say you weren’t warned!

Here are some things you need to avoid

#1: Allowing the conversation to flag

It’s pretty rare for two strangers to be able to converse for a solid hour over dinner without there being some awkward silences, which are death to ‘chemistry’. Perversely, it can be even harder to keep a conversation flowing when you really like someone. So what do you do about this?

Prepare! Read a newspaper; get acquainted with some current hot topics of conversation. Also, think about a couple of the coolest things you’ve done in your life, and work out how you could tell a great, funny story about them (a little embellishment is ok – never let the truth get in the way of a good story!).

#2: Challenging her beliefs

Now is not the time for a conversation about religion, politics, or which was the best movie out of the original Star Wars trilogy (actually you might get away with that one – everyone knows it’s The Empire Strikes Back). Keep it light, keep it funny, and keep it moving. There’ll be plenty of time for convincing her that Scientology is a cult when you’re going steady.

#3: Being too nice

You need to tease her a little. If you didn’t already know, this is basically what flirting is – gentle ribbing, done with a smile. It works because what it communicates is “I’m not so in awe of you that I can’t poke fun at you.” It also spices up the conversation and makes it a lot more interesting than just talking about your hobbies, your cat, and your family for hours.

Keep these tips in mind and you will have a much better chance of having a successful first date!

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Related posts:

1. The Three Date Mandate, or How Not To Ruin A Good Thing
2. Girls: Why Paying on the 2nd Date Leads to Better Dating
3. How to Deal with the Fact that the Girl You’re Dating has a Moustache