Why it’s Impossible to Escape the “Friend Zone”

August 24, 2009 by Rachel W.
Filed under Girls, Explained

friend_zone_poster

Ever wonder why you’re always in the friend zone and never get the booty you deserve? You can find all the answers in The Ladder Theory (http://www.laddertheory.com/). But since you’re a busy guy, let me summarize this excellent piece of sociological work for you.

UPDATE 12/18:

My girl Jenna Riley has been blogging about how her current guy WAS actual able to escape the friend zone. Check it out for some advice & tips.

The first tenet of The Ladder Theory is that whenever you meet someone new, you size them up and place them on your ladder. Men rate women based mostly on their physical appearance and women rate men mostly on their wealth and status. Ouch, right? But seriously, it all boils down to the shallow roots of attraction.

Men have one ladder for all women they meet. At the top of the ladder are the women he would actively love to have sex with. Below them are the women he wouldn’t mind having sex with, followed by the ones he would have sex with while drunk and admit it. At the bottom of the ladder are the women he’d have sex with while drunk and try to cover it up after the fact. The bottom line: men are only friends with women they would like to have sex with at some point.

Ladies who are reading this may be thinking, “No way! I have tons of guy friends who don’t want to have sex with me.”

The writers of The Ladder Theory have a test for you to try out. Next time you’re alone with that guy “friend,” excuse yourself to the bathroom, strip naked, and come back out to face him. Tell him you want to have sex with him and see if he dares refuse you.

Women, on the other hand, have two ladders. You could be on the real ladder – the ladder that is very similar to the men’s ladder. Or you could be on the dreaded Friends Ladder, the men who she likes and keeps around for various reasons but would never sleep with under any circumstances.

Here’s the catch, guys. You never know what ladder you’re on until you make a move on the girl. If you make a move and you’re on the real ladder, then awesome! You win! If you make a move and you’re on the friends ladder, you’ll be kicked into the Abyss and have to deal with all the awkward feelings you’ve created by overstepping the bounds you didn’t know existed. You lose.

This is even worse when you rise to the rank of Cuddle Bitch.

A Cuddle Bitch is a guy who is at the very top of a girl’s Friends Ladder. He’s her best friend and she tells him everything. They snuggle on the couch while watching movies. She kisses him on the cheek when they part ways. All this while the poor guy assumes that he’s on the real ladder and is mentally freaking out about when a good time to make a move would be. (Sadly, never. You are either Cuddle Bitch or you are kicked into the Abyss of awkwardness.)

So what can you do to avoid being on the Friends Ladder and get on the coveted Real Ladder?

My advice is to test the Ladder Theory immediately with new female friends. Rather than waiting and building false intimacy by climbing the Friends Ladder, let your feelings be known. Make a first move and if you get kicked, you get kicked. Move on to the next girl and know that you’ve saved yourself a lot of time and heartache. Check out The Ladder Theory at: http://www.laddertheory.com/